An Open Letter From a First-Time Mom, Anxious About COVID-19

From a first-time mom that didn't know what to expect,

I know this isn’t what any of us expected.

Sure, none of us really know much going into motherhood for the first time. I’ll be the first to admit that I’m absolutely clueless! I fully expected this whole journey of pregnancy, childbirth and first-time motherhood to be a learning curve.

But I certainly didn’t expect a global pandemic to steal away so many of my firsts. And to my fellow first-time moms anxious about this whole thing - I’m guessing you didn’t either.

 

The Reality of First-Time Pregnancy During COVID-19

We didn’t expect our baby showers to be cancelled, or to worry weeks in advance about a shortage of diapers, wipes and formula. Now, scrambling for the items we still need is increasingly difficult due to store closures and picked-over shelves.

We didn’t expect to go to our prenatal appointments alone, leaving first-time dads out of such an important season of life. 

Many of us fear the very real possibility of experiencing labor and delivery without our husbands. We are terrified of not having a hand to hold during excruciating labor pain. But even worse, we worry our husbands will be prohibited from experiencing the birth of our children.

Some of us may not see our families for a long time, and likely will not have any visitors in the hospital when the baby is born. Our hearts break knowing that our loved ones may miss out on these first few weeks entirely.

We are scared for our newborns’ fragile immune systems in the midst of an incredibly contagious and insidious virus. 

All of these are legitimate concerns, and it’s okay to feel disappointed.

I’m still processing all of these harsh realities in real time as I write this post, and my heart is breaking. I still hold onto hope that it will turn around over the next few weeks, but I find myself becoming increasingly anxious as I get closer to our baby’s due date. 

For myself and many others, all we can do is move forward with caution and prepare as much as possible for the reality that lies ahead. This isn’t going to be easy.

Being a mother is hard - and this is just the beginning!

Here we are, in this difficult position during this particular time. This is our first chance to be a rock for our children. At the end of this, regardless of the circumstances, we will hold in our arms the most cherished gift we could ever receive. 

My miracle rainbow baby that I longed for, prayed for, and carried for all these months will finally be here, resting in my arms. That indelible fact is enough to melt away any anxiety or fear that threatens to rob my joy. 

Dear first-time mom, we are going to make it through this.

Even though you may feel a mixture of fear, anxiety, anger, frustration, doubt, and disappointment, you can do this. You’re a mother now - and as mothers, we do what we have to for our children.

Even if it requires us to forfeit a normal first-time mom experience. Even if it means giving birth alone.

So in the days that lie ahead, let’s look for the beauty in all of this chaos. Let’s enjoy the opportunity we have to be in the comfort of our homes, perhaps even with our husbands. We can take time to go for walks, prepare freezer meals, set up our nurseries, and read books on parenting. We can even watch prenatal classes online in our sweatpants, and be grateful that we live in a time when this is possible! 

When we compare our circumstances with others, it’s easy to feel disappointed with the cards we were dealt. But we still have so much to be grateful for in the midst of this craziness. Most of all, we can be grateful to serve a God who never leaves or forsakes us, who strengthens us in times of uncertainty.

 

 

Sending so much love to my fellow first-time mamas!