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Chrysalosity

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Are Your Well-Intended Comments Damaging People’s Body Image?

April 10, 2020 · FEEL-GOOD FITNESS

Comments that Damage Body Image

It’s been a hot minute since I’ve talked about body image.

To be honest, my priorities have shifted since I started this blog. Restoring a positive body image was something I had been so passionate about. But since then, I’ve been through the rollercoaster of a pregnancy, miscarriage, healing and another pregnancy. It’s been a wild ride over the last year, and my blogging has certainly reflected that.

But for a moment, I want to return to that topic that has always been near and dear to my heart. Like most girls (now women), I remember struggling with body image from a very young age. I allowed negative body image to consume my life to the point that I was over-exercising, under-eating, and visibly losing weight I didn’t need to lose. More on that here.

My struggle with body image was one of the main reasons I started this blog, because I know it touches so many girls and women out there. And I’m thankful that over the last few years, the body positive movement has caused people to be more aware and inclusive of all body types as a way to promote healthy body image.

But in my own experience, even within a culture that is changing the way we think and talk about bodies, we still have battles to fight. One specific area of concern is the way people feel they can talk about other people’s bodies.

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Where Well-Intended Comments Go Wrong

By now, I hope it’s common sense to NEVER go up to someone and ask, “Have you gained weight?”

That’s obvious, right?

We all know that commenting on someone’s weight gain is rude and obviously socially unacceptable. You have no idea what might be causing the weight gain, and it’s not your business to dig into it. 

And who’s to say that someone who’s gained some weight isn’t happy exactly how they are? You can gain weight and be content with who you are and how you look. Isn’t that a novel concept?

There are enough false messages out there telling women they have to be thin to be beautiful and causing negative body image. I think by now, most of us are aware that there’s no need to pile on by continuing to comment on someone’s size. 

But is that really the case?

Seemingly innocent comments (or “compliments”) can throw people into a downward spiral of body image issues.

What about comments like “You’ve lost weight” or “You’re so thin, you can eat anything you want”? We’ve (hopefully) learned not to make comments about a person’s weight gain or larger body size, and rightfully so. But does it go both ways? 

In my experience, it doesn’t.

 

My Struggle with Seemingly Well-Intended Body Comments

I want to make sure I’m careful about this, because I know this is a difficult subject. I have never dealt with hurtful comments about weight gain because I’ve never lived in a large body. I’m not equating these scenarios. I am challenging us to think critically about the ways we comment on all types of bodies.

Growing up, I was always just average sized - not fat, not thin… just average. But even being average has most girls feeling inadequate in a culture that tells us that thinness = beauty.

As I grew out of my teenage years, my hormones shifted, and I began to lose some weight. That weight loss was like a high for me, and I chased it by over-exercising, under-eating, and displaying some scary obsessive behaviors over my weight. You can read more of that story here.

Besides the scale, the number one motivating factor for me was other people’s comments.

People I wasn’t even close with would comment that I’d lost weight, and they’d make subtle references to how I ate so healthy and how I was exercising. And for that average-looking girl that struggled with body image all throughout childhood, those comments fueled me. 

I restricted my calories even more and ran even farther just to keep those comments coming. Even my doctor once told me, “That’s a number every girl wants to see!” when I stepped on the scale at an appointment. I’m quite certain that if I did the math, that number would clearly rank me in the “underweight” category on almost every type of chart. Yet healthcare professionals told me that thin = good. And I loved it.

I thrived on people’s comments… or did I? 

I look back on these years as a pivotal time in my life. I was feeding on other people’s seemingly “innocent” comments, to the point that I ran myself into the ground with undereating and overexertion. It took a running injury, some self-reflection, and a lot of education about good nutrition to undo the damage I’d done in those years. 

The point of my story? Even “compliments” about thin bodies or weight loss can send people into a spiral of negative body image, similarly to comments about weight gain and larger bodies. 

 

comments that damage body image

 

Challenging the Way We Talk About Bodies

It is so important to be careful about how we talk about bodies. I know that what I’m saying might sound overly-sensitive and too PC. But as an expecting girl mom, the topic of body image weighs heavily on me. How will I talk about body image with my daughter? Will the things I say in passing have long-term effects on her? We have to be so, so careful that we’re not causing damage, even when we think we’re doling out compliments.

The bottom line in all of this: Keep your comments to yourself.

You may be free to talk about your body how you want, but you don’t have the right to comment on someone else’s. It doesn’t belong to you, it’s not your business, and your words may carry more weight than you realize.

Case and point: Recently, I received a comment on an Instagram post comparing my third-trimester pregnant body to this woman’s second-trimester body. It’s hard to read tone over an Instagram comment, but it was either one of those seemingly innocent “compliments” on how petite my pregnant belly is, or it was a dig implying that I’m not healthy in my pregnancy. 

Either way, comparing two pregnant bodies is completely nonsensical, and it hurt this first-time-mama’s feelings. At a time when I wanted to be proud of my growing bump, someone else felt the need to make a comment about my size. 

Regardless of the intent - it was not okay. Dragging my body into a comparison that I never asked for was both unfair to me and unhelpful to the commenter. Thankfully I’m in a much healthier headspace these days to field comments about my body, but others might not be. You have no idea how someone else may be dealing with their own body image.

Let’s keep an open conversation about body image, but refrain from commenting on other people’s bodies - especially in a culture that already has so much to say about what our bodies should be.

 

Love always,

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Low Impact Cardio Upper Body Workout

February 28, 2020 · FEEL-GOOD FITNESS

Low Impact Cardio & Upper Body Workout

Cardio + upper body workouts are an excellent combo!

I love lifting weights, but I often find that upper body workouts don't elevate my heart rate enough to get a really good burn. Pairing traditional cardio moves with each strength exercise is a great way to work the upper body and break a sweat. This low impact cardio upper body workout is a great way for both beginners and workout veterans to strength train!

I wanted to keep this workout low impact because frankly, high impact is not in the cards for me right now at 7 months pregnant! To those who run and continue their high impact workouts at this point in pregnancy - I salute you! But it ain't me.

Whether you're looking for a good prenatal workout or you're just beginning to dip your toes into an exercise routine, this cardio upper body workout is a great place to start. Plus, this workout requires very little equipment aside from a set of dumbbells. I use adjustable weights (which I'll link below), but even if all you have is a set of 5-lb dumbbells in your basement, you can still get a great workout in!

This post contains affiliate links. Clicking these links doesn't cost you anything extra, but it does help me run my site and continue to provide free content. For more, read my Disclosure Policy.

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Equipment for This Workout

For all of my weightlifting workouts, I use Bowflex SelectTech Adjustable Dumbbells. I'll be honest - these are on the spendy side as far as workout equipment goes. But if you're ready to invest, I couldn't recommend these more! It's nice to be able to adjust to the weight that suits your strength level without having to own a collection of dumbbells. Plus, they're still so much cheaper than a yearly gym membership - and you'll never have to share them with a random stranger!

Additionally, I used a yoga mat for this workout - the one I've linked has great reviews on Amazon! You can choose from a variety of colors, and it's slip-resistant. If you don't already have a yoga mat, this would be another (much cheaper!) investment for your home gym.

Workout Structure

This cardio upper body workout is performed in an AB/AB format. That means you'll complete round one of the cardio exercise, then a round of the upper body exercise, and then repeat the entire group before moving on.

Complete 60 seconds of each cardio exercise, followed by ten reps of each strength exercise, and then repeat each group. Take breaks between each set as needed to catch your breath, but try not to wait so long that your heart rate drops significantly between sets. In all, this workout should only take you about 25 minutes to complete.

As always, make sure you get a good warmup and cooldown in. For this particular workout, I'd suggest a warmup of arm swings, side steps, and low-impact versions of traditional cardio moves such as jumping jacks or high knees. As for a cooldown, focus on stretching out the upper body muscles with overhead tricep stretches, arm cross stretches, and wall chest stretches.

For a quick demonstration of how to complete each exercise, watch the video below. Otherwise, feel free to print out this workout for your use at home or at the gym!

 

Happy sweating!

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Low Impact Cardio Upper Body Workout

 

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Quick & Effective Barre Workout for Toned Legs & Butt

January 10, 2020 · FEEL-GOOD FITNESS

Barre Workout for Toned Legs & Butt
This post contains affiliate links. Clicking these links doesn't cost you anything extra, but it does help me run my site and continue to provide free content. For more, read my Disclosure Policy.

 

Pregnancy has changed my workouts - a lot!

I used to work out pretty intensely, alternating between lifting heavy weights and HIIT cardio workouts. I took for granted the fact that I felt good every day - at least, good enough to push myself hard on workouts. But about halfway through that first trimester of pregnancy, I knew I needed a change in my workout regimen. I was queasy, exhausted, and I needed about 3 sports bras to jog or jump in any capacity! (Sorry, was that TMI?) 

Walking my dog became my new "workout" - a far cry from burpees and jump squats! And when the weather got cold, I'll be honest - I pretty much stopped working out entirely. The holidays were coming, and it was a difficult time to start up a new routine, just to have it interrupted by travel and holiday parties!

 

So where does that leave me now?

I actually ended up losing a lot of muscle weight over the months I took off from working out, which is kind of a bummer. I know it's going to be an uphill climb trying to get back to where I started, but it's alright. Life gets in the way and postpones our progress sometimes, but that isn't a reason to quit altogether! Right now, I'm super grateful that baby girl is healthy and doing the kickboxing for me in there! The rest will come back with time, and I'm thankful to be in that healthy mental space.

Now it's the beginning of January, and I feel absolutely fantastic. My baby bump is growing every day, but I feel energized, focused, and motivated to start working out again - even if that means taking it reeeeeallly slow. I'm starting small with going for walks with Sadie Belle (yes, even in the cold!) and introducing some yoga, pilates, and barre workouts into my daily routine. These types of workouts fit my preggo lifestyle perfectly right now, since they're low-impact, yet super effective for targeting some of my muscle groups that have lost tone over the last few months.

I just started a yearly subscription to The Yoga Collective - let me know if you'd like to see a review on that in the next few weeks! It's a database of TONS of yoga workouts, including some for beginners and prenatal yogis like myself! I kind of look like a dying flamingo while doing yoga... but hopefully regular practice will help me improve!

 

Low Impact, High Intensity!

I think when some people hear the term "low impact," they get turned off because they equate it with "easy." Say it with me: low impact does not equal easy!

As I've incorporated more low impact workouts into my routine, I've found that focusing on smaller muscle groups and more direct ranges of motion can target certain muscle groups pretty intensely! Barre is an excellent low-impact exercise for toning specific muscles, while also receiving balance support.

I'd highly recommend that beginners and those who struggle with balance try a barre routine, expecially if they're not comfortable with the floor work of Pilates or the balance required for yoga. If you're not familiar with barre as an exercise routine, recall ballet dancers warming up at the barre. Of course, you don't need an aerobics room and an actual bar to do the workout - find a chair or something about hip-height to support you.

After a walk one day, I decided to add a barre workout to quickly, but effectively, target my butt and thighs. Spoiler alert: it was effective! Ya girl was definitely sore the next day!

So today, I want to share that lower body barre workout with those who are perhaps just beginning a new fitness journey this year. If you're a beginner, this is a great place to start, since it's quick, supportive, and effective. Even if you're super fit, this workout can be made more difficult by completing additional rounds, adding more reps, balancing on your own, wearing ankle weights or adding resistance loops.

Workout Structure

For this workout, you'll just need a chair or something sturdy and hip-height for stability. I'll provide a demonstration of these exercises in the video below so that you know how to do each move. This Barre Workout for Toned Legs & Butt is made up of 10 total moves, with 20 repetitions of each move.

Check out the demonstrations below, and make sure you pin the image below to save to your fitness Pinterest board!

 

Happy January!

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About Me

Hi, I'm Rachel! I'm a millennial wife and mama loving life in the Midwest. Follow me for lifestyle tips like balanced food, accessible workouts, and personal growth inspiration!

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