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Chrysalosity

a flourishing lifestyle

Welcome to the World, Ella Rose!

June 15, 2020 · LIFESTYLE

Welcome to the World

She's here!

Our sweet daughter Ella Rose was born on May 8, a whopping 7 pounds, 1 ounce. She is even more beautiful than I thought she’d be, and my heart is so full.

Over the last month, we’ve had family in and out of our home to visit our newest addition. It’s been a crazy whirlwind, but I’m really grateful. All of the extra helping hands have allowed me to get the rest I need while also caring for my newborn. (Yes, I even needed a break from blogging! I've been working on this one post for over a month now, but mama duty calls!)

 

All ready to go home from the hospital!

 

Here’s what we’ve learned about Ella over the course of a month:

 

Ella is an excellent eater and a super pooper!

She took to breastfeeding immediately and I’m pretty sure it’s her favorite thing to do. And three blowouts in her first week home proved that her digestive system works pretty well, too!

 

She has been a wonderful sleeper - thank goodness!

In the weeks leading up to delivery, I had a bit of anxiety about losing sleep at night. I have never functioned well on less than 7 hours of sleep each night, so I worried about interrupted sleep. Thankfully, Ella has already slept for long stretches at night. And when she wakes, I’ve been surprised to find that waking to feed her hasn’t been as exhausting as I thought it would be. (Well… until it’s time to get up in the morning!) 

 

She’s a little dramatic… but calms quickly when she gets what she wants.

They say you can’t spoil a baby, at least for the first three months. I hope that’s true, because when miss Ella wants something, she makes sure we know it! But usually once we’ve figured out what she wants, she doesn’t carry on any further. 

 

Ella is going to be a daddy’s girl for sure.

I can’t even tell you how many times I’ve handed her off to my husband for a bit of a break, and immediately she calms down. If I wasn’t so grateful for his magic touch, I might actually be a little jealous!

 

I love watching her personality grow as the days and weeks go by! We’ve learned when she’s happy, when she’s fussy, and what each varying cry means. I worried that caring for a newborn would be an intimidating learning curve for me, but she’s taught me to have patience, give myself grace, and go with the flow.

Welcome to the World

Ella at one week...

Welcome to the World

Ella at one month!

As for me, here’s what I’ve learned about motherhood:

 

The things that worried me the most about caring for a newborn have actually become some of the sweetest moments.

Don’t get me wrong - the 3 AM wake up calls and cluster feeding evenings have been challenging. But being able to provide comfort for my baby while seeing her soften and smile as I hold her is an irreplaceable feeling.

 

Sacrificing my needs and desires in order to care for my family has been a challenge.

I believe this is the task that God has called me to do, but that doesn’t mean it’s not hard! I find myself fighting off feelings of bitterness - usually out of sheer exhaustion - when I can’t even eat a meal in peace or take a shower. This is an adjustment that all new wives and mothers have to make, and I’m learning to submit all over again - this time, to serve the needs of both my husband and my daughter.

 

I have learned to accept and ask for help when I need it.

I threw my pride right out the window the moment my L&D nurses helped me go to the bathroom after giving birth! (Side note: shouts out to nurses. I have a whole new respect for y’all after my time in the hospital! You are amazing!)

For real though - I couldn’t have made it through the first few days and weeks with my newborn without help from my husband, mom and mother-in-law. They made meals, took care of Ella so that I could sleep, ran errands, and cleaned my house for me so that I didn’t feel like I was drowning.

 

Getting things done can no longer be a top priority for me.

I have always loved crossing tasks off a to-do list, but these days I’m lucky to accomplish one thing outside of caring for Ella. I often have to remind myself that she is only a baby for a short time. Cherishing these moments with her is far more important than vacuuming the house.

Welcome to the World

Our first moments together at home on Mother's Day

Welcome to the World

Quiet moments with our little family

Taking It All In

It’s hard to describe the moments after we arrived home from the hospital with Ella. It just so happened to be Mother’s Day - my first, but not really. Just a year prior, I was grieving the loss of my first pregnancy on Mother’s Day. This year, I brought my second baby home.

We introduced her to our dog, and I walked her to her room. I sat with her in the chair, and rocked her to sleep as tears streamed down my face. This moment was all I had wanted - and after years of waiting, God granted me the sweetest blessing.

Everything has come full circle. Just yesterday in church, a dear friend and sister in Christ said to me, “It seems like just yesterday we were grieving!” And how true that rings! In the course of a year, God brought me from longing to expectant, to grieving and longing all over again, to expectant and joyous over my two beautiful babies. One we still grieve and long to meet one day, and the other we have the privilege of knowing and raising.

I am certain that God’s plan for me in all of this was good. All of these experiences from loss to joy strengthened my bond with my husband, made me a better mother for Ella, and taught me to choose joy in every circumstance. As I took in these first moments at home with Ella, I thanked God for all of it.

Everything has changed, yet it feels like we’ve had Ella forever. Our life as a little family has been so sweet over the last month! I’ll be sharing more updates here and there as we grow, but for now, thank you for following our journey up to this point. I hope our story has inspired and encouraged you in your walk, wherever you’re at.

 

 

With a grateful heart,

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Giving Thanks Always, for Everything

November 12, 2019 · LIFESTYLE

Giving Thanks Always, for Everything

'Tis the season for giving thanks, and we all have gratitude to express.

But some years bear more weight than others, and when the season of joy and thanks rolls around, our hearts grow hard and bitter about what we've had to go through in the past year.

2019 was a whirlwind for us. We started a business. My husband switched jobs, and I walked away from work that I loved to take the opportunity to work from home. We (finally) got pregnant, then lost the baby in a matter of weeks. 2019 dished out lots of change and challenges that both thrilled and destroyed us. Yet somehow, we've arrived intact at the season of Thanksgiving near the close of the year.

My heart's default setting is to complain about what I don't have in comparison to others. When I see new families smiling in Christmas cards, my heart grows bitter and hard. I was supposed to be sending out that card this year. I get upset when I think about what I gave up in order to serve differently from home. We took some pay cuts to make this work, but for what? I allow myself to divulge into a tailspin of doubt and self-pity, blinding myself from the joy and many blessings I do have.

Have you ever felt this way? Has your year been such a difficult whirlwind that you feel bitter this time of year? You're certainly not alone - but let's call it what it is. It's ungratefulness. It's sin.

 

Giving Thanks Always, for Everything

In Ephesians 5:20, Paul gives the instruction to give thanks to God "always and for everything." So, does that mean we should continually strive to be optimists, always looking for the silver lining in bad situations? Or is Paul actually telling us to thank God for the things that have nearly ruined us?

Is Paul telling me to thank God for my miscarriage? Or for taking your loved one too soon? For the loss of a job or a painful divorce? Should you really give thanks for that empty chair at the Thanksgiving table?

The simple answer: yes.

Why? Because the whole of our lives are to be a living, breathing testimony to what God has already done for us. He deserves our constant thanksgiving for redeeming us from the darkness of our sin. Even though it grinds against our human nature, we can thank Him for these difficult circumstances because He promises that all things, even the hard things, work together for our good (Romans 8:28).

When God orchestrates the trials that affect your life, He is also equipping you with the Spirit, shaping you more and more into His likeness. So as you reflect on your year, including all its blessings and trials, you can thank God for everything. He is sanctifying and preparing your heart for the eternal joy you long for, even in the events that broke your heart.

 

God is good.

And although I fight my own bitterness, jealousy, and ungratefulness this Thanksgiving season, I know that the Lord is refining me. I pray the same for you, that through the circumstances you have been dealt this year, you will be able to give thanks in all things, for everything. He is good, He is worthy, and He is continuing to write your story. And for that, we can be thankful.

 

Wishing you a blessed Thanksgiving season,

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Giving Thanks Always, for Everything

 

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An Impossible Love | Day 28 of #30DaysOfBlogging

October 6, 2019 · LIFESTYLE

An Impossible Love | Day 28 of #30DaysOfBlogging

Earlier this week, "forgiveness" was trending on Twitter.

A powerful story of forgiveness captured the hearts of many Americans this week as Brandt Jean hugged his brother's murderer, Amber Guyger, at her sentencing. Before that hug, Jean made a statement forgiving Guyger for her actions, saying that he loved her and that he wished her well.

Speaking for myself, this display of forgiveness was a conviction. I don't know what it's like to lose a loved one so tragically, but I can imagine that facing the convicted murderer of my brother would be too much to bear. But where everyone expected to see anger and vengeance, there was nothing but peace, forgiveness and love.

 

An Impossible Love

The love that Brandt Jean showed Amber Guyger was an impossible love, apart from divine intervention. Were it not for the love of Christ and the work of the Spirit in his heart, anger would have consumed him. Only a man of God, who himself knows the extent of Christ's love and work of redemption, could utter the words that Jean spoke in grace to his brother's murderer.

Oh, how He has loved us with an impossible love, in that "while we were still sinners, Christ died for us." (Romans 5:8) Jesus went to the cross for stubborn, unapologetic, hate-filled sinners. For persecuters and murderers like Paul. For loud-mouthed deniers like Peter. For stubborn feet-draggers like me.

Christ sacrificed glory for shame. He intervened with grace and mercy for chronic mistake-makers and wretched criminals. He touched outcast lepers and spoke gently to those who blatantly mocked him. His love is impossible for sinners like us to replicate, but a glimpse of that love was imitated in the grace-filled words of Brandt Jean.

 

The World Will Not Understand

Since Jean and Guyger's iconic hug in that courtroom, backlash immediately ensued. Some were upset that the judge also participated in this show of divine love and grace. Some were upset by the sentencing itself. Others were angry about all this talk of the power of forgiveness and felt that Jean shouldn't have had compassion on Guyger because of racial implications.

Without the Spirit's work in the hearts of believers, none of us would understand this display of forgiveness. 1 Corinthians 2:14 tells us that our human nature does not accept or understand the things of the Spirit, but considers them foolishness. The world will not understand why and how Brandt Jean could forgive Amber Guyger, because the world does not understand the Holy Spirit's work. And "there, but for the grace of God, go I." (John Bradford)

I'd like to think that if I had to take the stand in this sort of scenario, I'd have the strength to speak grace and love to the guilty party. I pray that God would grow my heart to be more understanding and filled with the kind of love that can only come from His Spirit. And I pray that this powerful, impossible love, this beautiful imitation of Christ, would shine a light as bright as Brandt Jean's shone on the glorious work He has accomplished for sinners.

 

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An Impossible Love | Day 28 of #30DaysOfBlogging

 

 

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About Me

Hi, I'm Rachel! I'm a millennial wife and mama loving life in the Midwest. Follow me for lifestyle tips like balanced food, accessible workouts, and personal growth inspiration!

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