encouragement Archives - Page 3 of 6

Overcoming Impostor Syndrome | Day 29 of #30DaysOfBlogging

October 7, 2019 · LIFESTYLE

Have you ever felt like you have no right to be successful?

I mean, who are you to try that new business venture? To show people what you're passionate about? To show the highlights of all the hard work you've been doing on your socials?

Why should you create that blog post, write that book, or start that podcast? You're no expert. You don't even have a degree in this.

You're a fraud.

This, my friends, is impostor syndrome.

Impostor syndrome is a psychological belief that you're inadequate, even though your accomplishments and gifts prove otherwise. It's feeling like you have no right to share your fitness success story because you don't have a degree in exercise science or a license as a trainer. Or maybe you love blogging about all the things, but you're worried that hitting that "publish" button will somehow ruin your reputation. You love dressing up and getting that perfect shot for the 'gram, but you're embarrassed that everyone will think you're an egotistical jerk.

Does it sound like I'm speaking from personal experience? If so, then I'm nailing it.

Doubt has a funny way of creeping into our subconscious, convincing us that we're not enough. Not pretty enough to be an influencer. Not smart enough to be a writer. Certainly not savvy enough to make that hobby a business. In general, we believe that the meager talents we have are nothing in comparison to those who are successful in the game.

Did you catch that word? Comparison.

Ah, comparison... the age-old "thief of joy." We stop our own momentum in its tracks when we see someone else reaching the heights of success. And we convince ourselves that if we tried to follow in their wake, we'll be nothing but an off-brand copycat. So we shut up and blend in, because at least that way we're not publicly embarrassing ourselves.

Killing the Impostor

Even the most successful people have had to walk in someone else's footsteps. Just because you are following a pattern of someone you admire does not make you a fraud or a copycat. It just means you have a role model and want to reach your unique audience in a way that's inspired by someone you look up to.

The root of impostor syndrome is fear. You're afraid that people will ignore you or unfriend you. You're afraid that you'll be a colossal failure in front of everyone. What if people find out that you have no experience whatsoever? That fear of failure, abandonment, and embarrassment is real. I've felt it.

The difference between you and those who have found success is that the successful people took that scary leap anyway. They took a chance and invested in the business they dreamed of starting. They were turned down and gossiped about. Almost everyone doubts their ability, even though we were all made with unique and mind-blowing gifts. Successful people believe in that ability in spite of the naysayers and in spite of their own doubts.

In order to kill the impostor, you have to wholeheartedly believe that you have something valuable to offer, and that you can do what it takes to share it. Write affirmations about your best traits, your goals, and even the weaknesses you intend to overcome. Make specific goals and take steps toward making them a reality. Surround yourself with a community that shares your goals and interests and share your doubts and fears with them - you'll find that they've had the same negative thoughts, too!

The Real You

The you that you were meant to be is in there - you're just too afraid to let her live her purpose in full.

When I started this blog, I actually didn't make it "public" until about 6 months in. And even then, I didn't share it with most of my friends, because I was terrified that everyone would think I'm this wannabe, know-it-all, doesn't-even-have-a-degree-in-that writer.

But then I realized that writing is something I've dreamed of doing my whole life. Who cares if nobody reads it? So what if I lose followers who are annoyed with yet another blog post promo? At least I'm embracing my gift and sharing it in a way that only I can - because I'm the only me!

You have a passion - so chase it. You have something that is authentically, exclusively you - so share it! You are not an impostor, fake, or fraud, and you have value to bring to the table. Don't let fear stop you from being the real you, in all its daring-to-jump, embarrassingly-failing, wonderfully-unique glory.

An Impossible Love | Day 28 of #30DaysOfBlogging

October 6, 2019 · LIFESTYLE

Earlier this week, "forgiveness" was trending on Twitter.

A powerful story of forgiveness captured the hearts of many Americans this week as Brandt Jean hugged his brother's murderer, Amber Guyger, at her sentencing. Before that hug, Jean made a statement forgiving Guyger for her actions, saying that he loved her and that he wished her well.

Speaking for myself, this display of forgiveness was a conviction. I don't know what it's like to lose a loved one so tragically, but I can imagine that facing the convicted murderer of my brother would be too much to bear. But where everyone expected to see anger and vengeance, there was nothing but peace, forgiveness and love.

An Impossible Love

The love that Brandt Jean showed Amber Guyger was an impossible love, apart from divine intervention. Were it not for the love of Christ and the work of the Spirit in his heart, anger would have consumed him. Only a man of God, who himself knows the extent of Christ's love and work of redemption, could utter the words that Jean spoke in grace to his brother's murderer.

Oh, how He has loved us with an impossible love, in that "while we were still sinners, Christ died for us." (Romans 5:8) Jesus went to the cross for stubborn, unapologetic, hate-filled sinners. For persecuters and murderers like Paul. For loud-mouthed deniers like Peter. For stubborn feet-draggers like me.

Christ sacrificed glory for shame. He intervened with grace and mercy for chronic mistake-makers and wretched criminals. He touched outcast lepers and spoke gently to those who blatantly mocked him. His love is impossible for sinners like us to replicate, but a glimpse of that love was imitated in the grace-filled words of Brandt Jean.

The World Will Not Understand

Since Jean and Guyger's iconic hug in that courtroom, backlash immediately ensued. Some were upset that the judge also participated in this show of divine love and grace. Some were upset by the sentencing itself. Others were angry about all this talk of the power of forgiveness and felt that Jean shouldn't have had compassion on Guyger because of racial implications.

Without the Spirit's work in the hearts of believers, none of us would understand this display of forgiveness. 1 Corinthians 2:14 tells us that our human nature does not accept or understand the things of the Spirit, but considers them foolishness. The world will not understand why and how Brandt Jean could forgive Amber Guyger, because the world does not understand the Holy Spirit's work. And "there, but for the grace of God, go I." (John Bradford)

I'd like to think that if I had to take the stand in this sort of scenario, I'd have the strength to speak grace and love to the guilty party. I pray that God would grow my heart to be more understanding and filled with the kind of love that can only come from His Spirit. And I pray that this powerful, impossible love, this beautiful imitation of Christ, would shine a light as bright as Brandt Jean's shone on the glorious work He has accomplished for sinners.

Does Prayer Really Work? | Day 21 of #30DaysOfBlogging

September 29, 2019 · LIFESTYLE

I thought I knew all there was to know about prayer.

Growing up in a Christian community, I prayed often. I learned the Lord's Prayer as soon as I could speak and said it every meal time with my family. I went to private Christian schools where requests were made and prayers offered all the way through my senior year of college. Then I went on to teach in a Christian school where I was now the one leading prayer time with my students and contributing prayers at home with my husband.

But then we hit a season that made us feel like our prayers went unheard. I've talked about my miscarriage openly - but actually, that pregnancy and subsequent loss had brought us closer to God in prayer than we had ever been. While we waited in between appointments, we prayed constantly, fearing the worst could happen. And when we lost that child, we prayed about everything - for opportunities to open for us to tell someone, for sustained faith, and for the strength just to make it through another day without breaking down in front of our coworkers. Now this story is a testament to the fact that God does indeed hear and answer prayer.

It was the season of waiting before that pregnancy that had us questioning whether our prayers were actually heard. Praying for a baby became a nightly routine for us as we waited and watched other families grow. And the longer we waited, the more bitter, jealous, frustrated and hopeless we became. As the weeks and months flew by, we would pray that same prayer over and over, but nothing changed. I wondered why God would encourage covenant families to have children so often in Scripture, then refuse to answer that prayer for us.

Does God really hear your prayer?

That small seed of doubt caused bitterness and tension in my relationship with the Lord. Make no mistake - the enemy does not want you to believe that God hears you. And when we were going through this season of waiting, Satan caused me to question what I knew to be true about prayer - that God hears me because of Christ and is powerful and loving enough to do exceedingly more than I ask (Ephesians 3:20).

Because of what Jesus has accomplished for us, we can trust that we now have full privilege to pray, knowing that God lovingly receives that prayer. Our prayers don't need to be fancy. We don't need to use uncommon words to make them seem worthy. We simply need to bring our hearts - whether they are broken, joyful, relieved, frustrated, disappointed, or grieved. He already knows the needs and desires of our hearts, but He desires fellowship with us in prayer. Be confident that when you pray sincerely in the name of Jesus, God hears.

What if my prayer isn't answered?

When we finally found out that I was pregnant, I felt reassured that God really does answer prayer. I couldn't wait to meet this little one and to raise him or her to know the faithfulness of God. But sadly, we lost our baby at 9 weeks - just enough time to prepare emotionally for this new life, only to have it taken away.

Was this a sick joke? Did God play the waiting game with me just to give me what I asked for and then take it away so quickly? I felt like my prayer was answered, and then it wasn't.

I was so wrong.

You see, God doesn't play games with our hearts. He is mighty and merciful and is, indeed, doing exceedingly greater things than we could ask or imagine. If I hadn't waited on the Lord (Psalm 27:14), if I hadn't experienced how the Lord gives and takes away (Job 1:21), I would have never been able to write this. I would never be able to share my story of waiting, loss, pain, and bitterness with others who are walking the same path. God has provided a way for that to happen.

I still don't know the joy of holding a newborn in my arms for the first time, and I don't know when I will. God didn't answer my prayer the way I thought He would, but He provided a space for me to speak truth to those who long to hear it. Our prayers may not be answered the way we think they will, but God is writing an unseen story that is greater than what we've asked for.

I still pray the same prayer. Motherhood is the desire of my heart, and I believe that the Lord may answer that prayer in due time. But until then, I wait in confidence, knowing that prayer does work - more than I could ever imagine.