Chrysalosity

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Unplugging to Stay Present

· LIFESTYLE

unplugging to stay present

Attempting to stay present is one of the toughest challenges for this generation.

Millennials and Gen-Zs have grown up with technology that constantly pulls us away from the present. I often find myself getting sucked into a smartphone black hole, and I dread seeing my weekly screen time report.

Obviously, our smartphones have made so many tasks more convenient than they used to be. For instance, I recently wrote a post about helpful apps for new parents, and I use those apps frequently now that we have a newborn.

We can go ahead and skip the conversation about the dangers of technology. (Someone else can write about that - it's clearly not my place!) And by now, I think we're pretty aware of the risks posed by an overuse of technology and screen time in general.

I want to focus on the positive aspect of distancing ourselves from technology, which is to stay present in the moment.

 

Unplugging to Stay Present

 

The world is changing rapidly - and in our attempt to stay current, we're missing out.

Often times we're so wrapped up in events outside of our control that we're missing out on our own lives. We spend our valuable time trying to catch up on current events through a constant stream of news media or scrolling through the Instagram highlight reel of someone else's life.

The moments that seem commonplace in our lives are moments we will wish we had back someday. Like Andy Bernard from The Office said after reminiscing on his days working at Dunder Mifflin,“I wish there was a way to know you're in the good old days before you've actually left them.”

Our families and friends need us to show up for them. We need to show up for ourselves. And all too often, we're not doing an awesome job at committing what little time we have to being all there for our loved ones.

So let's learn to do better.

Andy Bernard The Office Quote

 

How Gratitude Can Help Us Stay Present

Before I jump into some tips on how we can stay present more intentionally, I think it's important to mention the role of gratitude in staying present. It's pretty hard to be grateful about what your life looks like if you're constantly chasing after an unrealistic ideal.

Whether you're scrolling through social media and noticing what other people have or frequently shopping online for the latest and greatest thing, you may be forgetting about what's right in front of you. Shoot, even something seemingly innocent as streaming shows on Netflix can rob our time so much that we neglect the blessings we currently enjoy!

When we are grateful for what we have right now, even if it's not much compared to someone else, we are automatically centering ourselves in the present. We're not worried about what tomorrow brings or all the difficult things we've endured in the past. Being grateful requires our minds to remain where we are in a single moment.

 

Let me share a personal example.

A week ago, I was feeding my baby girl for what seemed like the 18th time that day (it wasn't... but ya girl does like to eat). As soon as I got her started, I immediately picked up my phone and started scrolling. A few minutes in, I looked away from my phone and into my daughter's eyes - they were gazing at me, longing for me to provide for her, to be there for her when she needs me.

I felt both foolish and grateful in that moment. I had chosen to scroll, scroll, scroll instead of focusing on the very thing I am most grateful for - my beautiful daughter. I'd prayed for her for years - and there she was! How dare I waste a God-given second with her? One day, she won't need me like this anymore and I'll long to have these moments back.

I put my phone away and stared back at her. Her eyes showed me relief and comfort as she looked back at me, and in that moment I was grateful.

It's hard to stay present and grateful in every single moment of our lives, especially in the tasks that seem routine. And I don't think it's realistic to completely unplug from tech.  But what if we were more intentional with our time? Wouldn't we be better for it?

 

Unplugging to Stay Present

 

How to Unplug and Stay Present

Looking for practical tips on how to turn off distractions and stay present? Here are a few helpful suggestions:

 

Meditate

Meditation requires an intense focus on your breathing and thinking in the present. The moment your mind wanders from the task at hand, you're encouraged to bring it back to focusing on the breath. I've found the Headspace app to be helpful with guided meditation.

 

Pray/Read Scripture

As a Christian, I commit a small portion of every morning to reading Scripture and prayer. Doing this helps me focus on the lessons I need to glean from the Word in the present moment, and I can bring any needs and anxieties I have to the Lord. If you'd like to know more about my morning Bible time or want to learn more about my faith, you can reach out to me here.

 

Set Up a Phone Docking Station

When you want to gather with friends or family without phones to distract you, setting up a phone docking station is one of the best ways to ensure that no one will be texting under the table! Find a spot near an outlet where everyone can recharge their phone battery during this time. Most people find themselves leaving recharged as well!

 

Take a Walk

Nature is one of the best ways to experience the present. Take in all the sights and sounds of the season on a light stroll, or even get some exercise with a brisk walk or jog. Fresh air can help you clear your head of all the distractions, and you can even pray or meditate as you go. Sometimes, a short walk is the perfect amount of time to reset a negative mindset and practice gratitude for the present.

 

Use Conversation Starters

Sometimes we scroll through our social media feeds instead of talking to the people in our company, and we waste valuable time that we could have used getting to know one another. Try to think of a few fun questions that can help you carry a conversation, or even some guided cues that will involve your children.

 

Play!

Families that play together stay together, they say. Figure out the activities that everyone in your family enjoys and carve out time for it. There will always be work to do, but these precious moments as a family unit are fleeting. Take vacations, spend a Saturday at the pool, build a blanket fort and play "the floor is lava" with them. Enjoy the stage of life you're in now with your kids, because someday you'll wish you could relive it.

Don’t Miss Out!

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How do you stay present?

If you'd like to share how your family stays present and turns off distractions, I'd love to hear about it in the comments! Every family is unique, and a variety of techniques can help each member stay present and connected with each other more diligently. Share your ideas below - then log off and go love on your fam!

 

With love,

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The Power of Affirmations | Day 8 of #30DaysOfBlogging

· LIFESTYLE

The Power of Affirmations | Day 8 of 30 Days of Blogging

Affirmations are incredibly powerful.

I'm someone who thrives on words of affirmation from my loved ones. It probably stems from my underlying need to be liked - so maybe not such a good thing! Either way, hearing encouragement and affirmations from other people is like a power boost to me.

So what if those affirmations came from within?

I'd heard of people writing and saying personal affirmations aloud, and to be honest, it sounded super "New Age-y" to me. I couldn't possibly take myself seriously writing down encouraging statements to myself. It just seemed really... egotistical.

 

But I tried it anyway.

Sometimes, other people don't always notice that you need to be encouraged. And that's okay - other people have their own messes to deal with! That's why writing and saying your own affirmations is the opposite of egotistical. You don't need the opinions or praise of anyone else to fuel your success or your happiness. You just need to keep pressing toward your goals - and only you know yourself well enough to affirm those goals.

So, for example, if I was feeling discouraged or anxious about something in the future, I'd write affirmations that would reassure me in the present and encourage me to look toward my goals. And then the weird part - I'd say them out loud. It feels really odd to audibly give yourself a pep talk, but speaking your own encouragement helps to cement it into reality.

Now, I don't want to venture too far into the idea of manifestation (though I'm certainly intrigued by some of the stories I've heard). I don't believe that whatever you write down as an affirmation will magically come true the first time you speak it. But I do believe that affirmations have the power to change the way we view ourselves. That alone was enough to deter me from some of my most limiting beliefs and inspire me to believe the best about myself.

 

New to this? Try these affirmations:

  • I am capable of amazing things.
  • I envision big goals, and I work hard to achieve them.
  • I believe in, trust, and have confidence in myself.
  • I can accomplish anything if I work hard and stay focused.
  • I accept the things I cannot change.
  • I am willing to grow through challenges.
  • I am respectful, kind, and a good example to others.
  • I replace all bitterness with joy and contentment.

 

Writing personal affirmations can change your mindset.

If you feel that these affirmations are a little forced, try writing and speaking your own affirmations that fit your unique personality. There are traits that you should encourage in yourself - so do that! There are goals that you need to work toward - so write them and say them out loud. You will need to step out of your comfort zone a little bit and try something new. I encourage you to try it, take it seriously, and watch the way your mindset changes. You will be surprised at how much weight is lifted when you finally believe in yourself the way you ought!

 

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The Power of Affirmations | Day 8 of 30 Days of Blogging

Three Lessons I Learned in My 20’s

· LIFESTYLE

Hey you! Yeah, you. 20-something, stepping-into-womanhood, just-got-a-real-job you.

I know exactly how you feel. Everything in your life has prepared you for these years of new adulthood, or so you thought. But you feel so overwhelmed, like you're supposed to have a clear direction for your life, and you don't.

Let me tell you something - I'm a 20-something who does not have it all figured out - and you don't need to, either - but here are three lessons I've learned in the process of navigating adulthood.

 

Lesson One: Try, Fail and Keep Trying

I remember having those feelings of doubt when I first got my teaching job because I felt like I was failing. But in the process of failure in that first year of teaching, I grew so much! I learned which methods of teaching, managing a classroom, and communicating with parents and coworkers worked well, and which didn't.

No matter how many textbook formulas you try to follow in order to be successful in your career, you will experience challenges and setbacks. No formula will fit you perfectly, because you are unique, and you need to figure out what works for you. I don't consider myself a rockstar teacher by any means, but the only way I could really grow was from trying and failing and trying again.

 

Lesson Two: Your Timeline is Unique

I got married at 21, graduated college at 22, then relocated and got a job shortly after. Five years of marriage later, my husband and I still do not have children. Personal timelines are an emotional and complicated topic, but here's the point: your life might not shake out the way you or your family thought it would.

I never dreamed that I'd get married in college. Moving away from our rural farm town to Kansas City seemed out of the question. We had a well-thought-out timeline in mind for having kids. But my timeline is unique, and it's vastly different from the timeline I expected. And so is yours.

You may not see or fully appreciate it yet, but this trajectory of your life is shaping you into who you are supposed to be. Let go of the way you thought things were supposed to be or the expectations that others had for you, and live with purpose in the timeline you're in.

 

Lesson Three: You Can Switch Directions

Just because you chose a major as an 18-year-old doesn't mean that you are now committed to that career path for the rest of your life. Let that sink in for a moment. Isn't it crazy that our society expects kids to know what they want to do with the rest of their lives, follow that path to a degree, get a job right out of school, and work there until retirement? So essentially, at 18, you are expected to make a decision that will impact your life for the next 40+ years.

As a senior in high school, I decided to study vocal music. Later in college, I changed my major to music education so that I could become a teacher. I love teaching, my school, and my students, and I'm happy working in this profession. But there's more to me than just that part of my life, and being a teacher doesn't mean that I can't also explore my other interests and talents at the same time! In my adult life, I've discovered other interests that I didn't know I had, as well as talents that I had put on the back burner, and I take time to sharpen these skills and interests even while I'm working as a teacher.

If you get your first job and you're unhappy there, just know that you are not stuck there for the next 40 years. You may know your interests more clearly now than you did at 18, so pursue those things without the guilt of leaving another career path behind. And if you're unsure of switching directions completely or you just want to explore your hobbies and interests, find ways to do them on the side. You do not need to limit yourself based on a decision you made back in high school!

 

You Don't Need to Have It All Figured Out!

Your 20's are a decade of figuring out who you are, what you value, and how to navigate new responsibilities. "Adulting is hard," (cringe) but these challenging experiences will help you grow and find your place. For now, get comfortable with being uncomfortable, ask lots of questions, and do your best while you're figuring it out.

 

With love,

-Rachel

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