parenting Archives - Chrysalosity

When Your Feelings Get Big

July 19, 2021 · LIFESTYLE

Sweet child, I’ll be there when your feelings get big.

You’ve got the biggest heart of anyone I know - you got that from me. When I love, I’m all in. When I’m mad, I’m furious. I see that same spirit in you, and as your mom, I have the double-edged burden and blessing of shouldering your feelings when they get too big.

I’ll admit - sometimes it’s hard for me to stay calm in the face of your storms. As a first time mama, being “on” when you’re “off” is a learning curve for me. There are so many moments I want to give up and just explode from the tension. Dealing with those big feelings can be exhausting and overwhelming!

Thank goodness that’s not the version of me you see.

To you, I’m brave, strong, safe mama. You can run to me with your big feelings because you know I’d never leave you alone with them. It’s my job; it’s who I am, and you trust me.

But I’ll let you in on a very important truth, little one. I’m not any of those things on my own. I’m not inherently a “good mom,” though that’s a popular mantra I see frequently on social media. I am so much more fragile than you know.

No, I am who you need me to be because Christ equips and enables me.

He gives me grace to remain calm when your temper has flared up, to sing peaceful songs when your little body fights rest, and to notice when you need an encouraging hug. Your mama has big feelings too, and when my feelings get big, I bring them to Jesus.

Other times when my feelings get big, I don’t surrender them to the Lord as I should. I erupt like a volcano when the tension becomes overwhelming. I sin against Him and you, and I’m sorry. But in the family of God, we confess our shortcomings and forgive freely. This is true, gospel love.

I pray that as you and I both grow, I can model this love for you more and more like Christ. Let our home be one that models the gospel - a place of abundant forgiveness, grace and spiritual growth. You can always come to me with your big feelings, and I’ll love you through them. But I pray that as you grow and learn more about God, you will bring all those big, complex, overwhelming feelings to Him. Only He can provide perfect peace.

Love always,

Like this post? Make sure you share it with your friends on Facebook or Pinterest! Follow me on Facebook, Pinterest, and Instagram for fitness inspiration, recipes, and all things lifestyle!

5 Apps Every New Mom Should Download

July 1, 2020 · LIFESTYLE

If you're a new mom or you're adding another little blessing to your family soon, these five apps are total parenting game-changers!

Over the last few weeks, I've downloaded a few apps that have helped me keep my sanity as a new mama. Some were suggestions from friends, and others I stumbled upon and tried myself.

One of the benefits of being a modern mom is that we have the gift of technology to make parenting a little easier. In so many instances after using these apps, I've found myself wondering how parents functioned before smartphones! We sure are spoiled with technology - so we might as well use it to our advantage, right?

I'm sure there are many more helpful apps that I'm missing. (If so, let me know in the comments and help a mama out!) But after a little fine-tuning over the last month, I've come up with five favorites that I'd love to share with you today. I hope this list is helpful for you as you navigate the changes of life with baby!

This post contains affiliate links. Purchasing from these links doesn't cost you anything extra, but it does help me run my site and continue to provide free content. For more, read my Disclosure Policy.

The BabyTime app was suggested to me by a friend, and it was the first app I immediately used when Ella was born. Users can track feeding times, diaper changes, naps and more using the app. I found it super helpful especially during the first few weeks and during the midnight feedings. (Honestly, I don't know how women remembered which breast to feed from before tracking apps made it convenient!)

Another cool thing about the Babytime app is that you can compare the data you enter throughout the days, weeks and months of your baby's growth. This can help you track your baby's patterns and detect any issues over time.

Tap here to download the BabyTime app for free at the App Store, or here for the Google Play Store.

Lots of moms love Pampers diapers, including myself! Of all the brands I've tried, these are my favorite for Ella. They can be more expensive than generic brands, but I think they prevent diaper rash and blowouts much better than others.

If you like getting cash back (um, who doesn't?) download the Pampers Club app! Simply use the app to scan the code inside your Pampers diaper package and redeem points for rewards or cash back via PayPal.

Download the Pampers Club app at the App Store here, or at the Google Play Store here.

There are a lot of white noise apps to choose from, but the White Noise Deep Sleep Sounds app is my favorite. It has plenty of free options to choose from that are perfect for helping baby calm down and sleep. I find it so endearing to watch Ella's face soften and her eyelids get heavy when we turn the white noise on!

We have a white noise machine in Ella's room for bedtime, but the app is great for when she's napping elsewhere. Remember that your baby was used the the white noise of your heartbeat and circulatory system in the womb, so quiet rooms are actually pretty foreign to young babies. Using a white noise app or machine is very soothing for your little one.

Download the White Noise Deep Sleep Sounds app for free here at the App Store or here at the Google Play Store.

I'm still pretty new to The Wonder Weeks app, but I'm looking forward to using it over the coming weeks and months as Ella grows! The Wonder Weeks is actually a book you can read to learn all about your baby's growth and developmental "leaps."

When you download the app, you enter your baby's due date, and it will calculate approximately when each developmental leap will occur. It's nice to know ahead of time when your baby is going through these leaps so that you're not left wondering why your baby is suddenly so fussy! I'm a person who likes to know what's coming, so this app is comforting for me as a parent. Plus, it shows you tips on how to engage with your child through these developmental phases.

This app is $3.99 - a pretty cheap investment for your peace of mind, wouldn't you say? Get it here at the App store or here at the Google Play Store.

Confession: I hate scrapbooking. I even hate creating digital photo books, and I usually only make them after we go on a vacation. So I have hundreds, if not THOUSANDS of pictures on my phone that just sit there, never to be reminisced on again.

Until I found the Qeepsake app!

If you don't have time for scrapbooking but you want to save memories of your child quickly and digitally, this app is perfect. Qeepsake will send you prompt questions via text, and you can answer those questions and add your photos to the app. Over time, Qeepsake will collect these memories for you, and you may choose the option to create a book from these journal prompts to remember special moments as your baby grows. I personally really like the prompt questions - some of them are topics I wouldn't have thought to document on my own!

Currently I'm using the free version, but I may upgrade soon to get more question prompts sent to me throughout the week. You can download Qeepsake at the App Store here or at the Google Play Store here.

Stop Giving Mom Guilt Your Valuable Headspace

May 1, 2020 · LIFESTYLE

"Mom Guilt" is a real thing.

Moms, you already know about mom guilt because you've likely experienced it. Even expecting mothers like myself have felt pressure from other moms to do things a certain way, because that's what everyone else is doing.

In some cases, mom guilt is caused by hurtful, judgmental comments coming from other moms. In others, it's self-imposed. Deep down, we're self-conscious about our decisions as mothers. Regardless, mothers are often left doubting their natural instincts in order to fit in with some external standard of what makes a good mother.

I've experienced it over the nine months I've been pregnant, and once baby is born, I'll enter a whole new world of mom guilt. I'll wonder if she's getting enough to eat or sleeping safely as an infant. In the blink of an eye, she'll be five years old, and I'll wonder if I've done enough read-alouds or sensory activities to prepare her for kindergarten. And suddenly, she'll be off to college, and I'll question everything I ever taught her. Did I do this right?!

Recognize Mom Guilt When You See It

I know mom guilt because I've seen it. I've stood in conversation circles where some women talk about the parenting strategies they'd never do while other moms shrink back in embarrassment. I have overheard (and received) unsolicited advice about the best ways to care for a newborn. Go on Facebook or Instagram and see for yourself in all the pictures and comments! You're sure to find some mom who seemingly has it all together, while another mom feels like her house is a hot mess express in comparison.

Mom Guilt is Sneaky... and Often Internal

You know that nagging feeling you felt when Karen over there was *so blessed* to have an overstocked breast milk supply, but you formula fed because you couldn't get it to work for you? That's mom guilt.

Or that subtle feeling of embarrassment when you tell people you're a stay-at-home mom, because you feel like you're not contributing enough for your family? That's mom guilt.

Have you ever been too ashamed to ask for help when you desperately needed it, because you're afraid your other mom friends will think you're lazy? That's mom guilt.

Sometimes, mom guilt is a rude comment or judgmental glance that was intended to sting. But usually, it's a deep-seeded, internal doubt that we're not good enough as parents. And the best way to overcome our doubts is to recognize them when we see them.

Getting Out of Your Own Head

You might be imposing mom guilt on yourself, simply because you doubt your own ability to be a good parent. So how do you get out of your own way and become the rockstar mama you totally can be?

Trust Your Instincts

If you constantly look for other people's approval on your parenting strategies, you'll never feel like you've done a good job. Take every piece of advice you get with a grain of salt. Sure, most moms out there are simply offering tips that worked for them! But you know your family, and what works for other people might not work for you. Don't allow mom guilt to make you feel inadequate!

Let Go of Unrealistic Expectations

Part of getting out of your own head might be letting go of an expectation you had for yourself as a mom. If you're like me, your type-A personality needs everything to thoroughly organized, planned and executed. (Because we know how well children love to plan ahead and follow directions the first time, right?) Of course there will be times when you hold firmly to your expectations - that's called being a parent. But you may need to let go of the perfect picture you had in your mind to make space for reality.

I may not be a parent yet, but I've been an elementary school teacher. Sometimes I felt like my job was to repeat myself all day long, and I'd get upset when a fun class activity completely flopped. For the first year of teaching, I constantly wondered what was wrong with me. But the reality was that I needed to find my voice as the teacher, use strategies that worked for me, and run like the wind with whatever worked.

Do What Works For You

What works for Susan's family is great for her - but don't let Susan's success make you feel mom guilt because it didn't work for you. Trust yourself and your ability to know and love your kids the way they need to be loved. Cut loose any expectations that just don't align with your reality. And for the love of all that is good, leave the guilt behind.

Believe You're Awesome! (Your kids already think you are.)

Being a good mom doesn't mean you're perfect. Even mothers that appear to be perfect fall victim to mom guilt!

You know who doesn't think you're a failure? Your kids!

Kids are extremely forgiving - another truth I learned from teaching. Even though you'll fall short, your kids will still think you're the best thing that ever happened to them - because you are. (Even those middle-school complainers wouldn't trade you for anyone else!)

When you're trying your best and you feel like it doesn't measure up to someone else's standards, remember that your kids aren't playing that comparison game. They're not concerned that your house isn't Instagram-worthy enough for an impromptu photo shoot. They don't care whether you breastfeed or formula feed, just as long as their tummies are full.

Babies don't need all the gadgets on your registry. Kids don't need the latest toys or name brand clothing to feel loved. They need a mom who loves, provides and protects. These are the qualities they'll thank you for one day.

Stop Giving Mom Guilt Your Valuable Headspace

Clear your headspace from mom guilt. Brush it off when another mom feels it's necessary to compare stats - you don't have to play her game. Stop allowing your own doubts to creep in and make you feel less than someone else. Know that you are what's best for your family, exactly how you are - and that's why they love you!

You got this, Mama!

Like this post? Make sure you share it with your friends on Facebook or Pinterest! Follow me on Facebook, Pinterest, and Instagram for fitness inspiration, recipes, and all things lifestyle!

When Your Feelings Get Big

Sweet child, I’ll be there when your feelings get big.

Thank goodness that’s not the version of me you see.

Don’t Miss Out!

No, I am who you need me to be because Christ equips and enables me.

Love always,

Like this post? Make sure you share it with your friends on Facebook or Pinterest! Follow me on Facebook, Pinterest, and Instagram for fitness inspiration, recipes, and all things lifestyle!

5 Apps Every New Mom Should Download

If you're a new mom or you're adding another little blessing to your family soon, these five apps are total parenting game-changers!

This post contains affiliate links. Purchasing from these links doesn't cost you anything extra, but it does help me run my site and continue to provide free content. For more, read my Disclosure Policy.

Don’t Miss Out!

1. BabyTime

2. Pampers Club

3. White Noise Deep Sleep Sounds

4. The Wonder Weeks

5. Qeepsake

There you have it!

Yours truly,

Like this post? Make sure you share it with your friends on Facebook or Pinterest! Follow me on Facebook, Pinterest, and Instagram for fitness inspiration, recipes, and all things lifestyle!

Stop Giving Mom Guilt Your Valuable Headspace

"Mom Guilt" is a real thing.

Recognize Mom Guilt When You See It

Mom Guilt is Sneaky... and Often Internal

Stay Up-to-Date on New Posts!

Getting Out of Your Own Head

Trust Your Instincts

Let Go of Unrealistic Expectations

Do What Works For You

Believe You're Awesome! (Your kids already think you are.)

Stop Giving Mom Guilt Your Valuable Headspace

You got this, Mama!

Like this post? Make sure you share it with your friends on Facebook or Pinterest! Follow me on Facebook, Pinterest, and Instagram for fitness inspiration, recipes, and all things lifestyle!