When Your Feelings Get Big

Sweet child, I’ll be there when your feelings get big.

You’ve got the biggest heart of anyone I know - you got that from me. When I love, I’m all in. When I’m mad, I’m furious. I see that same spirit in you, and as your mom, I have the double-edged burden and blessing of shouldering your feelings when they get too big.

I’ll admit - sometimes it’s hard for me to stay calm in the face of your storms. As a first time mama, being “on” when you’re “off” is a learning curve for me. There are so many moments I want to give up and just explode from the tension. Dealing with those big feelings can be exhausting and overwhelming!

Thank goodness that’s not the version of me you see.

To you, I’m brave, strong, safe mama. You can run to me with your big feelings because you know I’d never leave you alone with them. It’s my job; it’s who I am, and you trust me.

But I’ll let you in on a very important truth, little one. I’m not any of those things on my own. I’m not inherently a “good mom,” though that’s a popular mantra I see frequently on social media. I am so much more fragile than you know.

No, I am who you need me to be because Christ equips and enables me.

He gives me grace to remain calm when your temper has flared up, to sing peaceful songs when your little body fights rest, and to notice when you need an encouraging hug. Your mama has big feelings too, and when my feelings get big, I bring them to Jesus.

Other times when my feelings get big, I don’t surrender them to the Lord as I should. I erupt like a volcano when the tension becomes overwhelming. I sin against Him and you, and I’m sorry. But in the family of God, we confess our shortcomings and forgive freely. This is true, gospel love.

I pray that as you and I both grow, I can model this love for you more and more like Christ. Let our home be one that models the gospel - a place of abundant forgiveness, grace and spiritual growth. You can always come to me with your big feelings, and I’ll love you through them. But I pray that as you grow and learn more about God, you will bring all those big, complex, overwhelming feelings to Him. Only He can provide perfect peace.